Good Walk

Hiya! Remember me? My name is Bruce. Today I am telling you about a Good Walk. This Walk begins at the place called Blackford Hill.

This place has lots of grass. If you are lucky, the humans will stop to admire the thing that they call View . . .

. . . while you find a fine bristly stick, and prance with it.

Then the Walk gets even better, because it goes to the place called Hermitage. This place has mud and water and many, many sticks.

As usual, Kate was going far too slowly and stopping far too much to click-click with the camera.

She was also spouting the familiar human nonsense about how the light was changing, the birds were singing, and the gorse was coming into bloom &c.

Personally, I am not a fan of this gorse-stuff, as it is too bristly even for me to rummage in. Give me a stick any day.

Today I located many, many good sticks because of what is called “recent storms”. Here is an excellent example, but I was not allowed to tackle it.

Now, sometimes on a walk, I find a Nice Big Stick, and bring it home, where the humans feed it to the fire-beast. If only Kate had remembered that wheely-thing that she takes to the shops, I’m sure I could have helped to fill it up with these . .

Such a shame. But then later, by the water, we found the most exciting sticks of all. They call this thing ” Woodland Marimba”, but this means nothing to me. All I know is that when Tom hit these sticks, they sang a tune.

Singing sticks?

Singing sticks!

Shall I sing too?

Make them sing!

The more I sing, the more they sing!

They must be mine!

Kate seemed to find my singing very amusing for some reason.

But, predictably, I was not allowed to bring these mysterious and magical singing sticks home with me. Such is life.

See you soon! Love Bruce x

Bruce says . . .

This looks like fun . . .

But actually, it’s not much fun at all.

What’s that jingle-jangle?

And what’s with the uproarious laughter from those passers-by?

Death to jingle-jangle!

Success!

Merry Christmas, everyone.

LOVE FROM BRUCE x

a postcard from Bruce

Hiya. I am Bruce. When the humans go away, I get to live in this box with them.

Living in the box means that I can go exploring. This is good.

But they still don’t let me at the delicious smoky things. This is bad.

I eat meats, so why can I not eat these meats?

And why may I not sniff at the behinds of my three new friends?

Humans are unaccountable and strange. Here, for example, they told me proudly that I was “Ireland’s most northerly dog.”

. . .and here that I had to sit very still because I was on “giantscauseway”

Humans, you are stupid. Who cares what a place is called? What matters is how it smells and whether or not there are dead crabs to be found there.

When a place is lacking in dead crabs, it usually has a stick.

Watersticks are particularly good.

I’ve recently discovered a fun new game . . .

. . . DUNE JUMPING!




I’m not sure why they find me so amusing . . .

. . . but I think that the beach might be my favourite place of all.

Britain’s most northerly dog

Bruce held this distinction for a short while today. Here we are at 60 degrees, 47 minutes, and 58 seconds North. We heart Unst!

This is, incidentally, the first time I have seen myself walking since I had the stroke, and I find it very surprising that I don’t seem to have an Igor-like lollop, as that is what it feels like to me.

Shetland is amazing.

at home


It’s still snowing here.


Snow is one of those things about which Jesus definitely is Not Sure.

Just check out his plum tree. . .

The wee man is spending the day inside, but me and Bruce have been out with the camera. I love the transformative effects of snow, even on the greyest winter day.



It was very quiet out there.

Though Bruce tried his best to make a ruckus.

Spare a thought for poor Tom, though, who set off for Liverpool this morning and is currently stuck on a stationary train somewhere in deepest Cumbria. Familiar Words of Doom have been uttered: “Replacement Bus Service.” If he ever gets there, Tom will be spending a few days at a conference. This will be interesting for both of us, as we’ve not been apart since I came out of hospital. It feels significant. Tom is really quite amazing: as well as working extremely hard in the World of Spleens all day, he then comes home and performs far more than his fair share of household tasks so that I can save my energy for my rehab. I know I couldn’t have managed the past ten months without him, and he is top of the list of the many things I feel extremely lucky for. But it seems a good time for me to try a few days of total independence. I am doing quite well at the moment. I mean, I feel a little peculiar all of the time, but lately the little peculiar that I feel has been slightly less. My norm seems more normal, in other words. I have found myself wondering two things: 1)whether this constant-vague-peculiarity is really subsiding or my brain is just getting used to it and 2) whether people realise how generally weird things are for those who have had a stroke. (I know that brain-injury sufferers who have linguistic difficulties carry around explanatory cards to be whipped out in difficult public situations, and there have been several occasions over the past few months when I have wished I was wearing a t-shirt proclaiming “HELLO! I’VE HAD A STROKE.”)

Physically, I am definitely still getting better, though the improvements are slow and incremental and sometimes hard for me to see. In fact, other people seem to notice these improvements more than I do. On Saturday, for example, we ran into a physio friend of ours who regarded my walking as something quite incredible (which I suppose it is, considering that the part of my brain that was most damaged was the bit controlling my leg and foot, and that some of my medical team thought it was unlikely that I’d ever be able to walk without a stick, brace, and one of those electronic thingummies). Recently, when I’ve been out with Bruce, I have even tried running a few steps. This is really very difficult – there is nothing my left leg likes less than moving at speed – but over the past few weeks I have progressed from five lopsided steps to twenty five. It feels quite exhilarating.

While I am on the subject, and as much for my benefit as anything else, I want to record an experience of a couple of weeks ago, after which my gait seemed to noticeably improve. Mostly, on my daily walks, I just pootle along as best I can, but there is a nice flat stretch of about half a mile where I try to make every single component of my gait correct – this takes more effort than you would imagine, and Bruce often becomes frustrated with what he must regard as pointless dawdling when ahead lie innumerable sticks and squirrels. Anyway, I was covering this gait-focused half-mile a couple of weeks ago, and found that I was walking really well – the knee seemed to be working without locking (a recurrent issue), and my steps were smooth and even. This continued for about half a minute, and then I suddenly had a terrible attack of vertigo and nausea – I had to hold onto a tree while I waited for it to subside – and then took Bruce the shortest way home. There then followed the particularly evil bout of fatigue (mentioned in this post), but a few days afterward I found myself capable of walking six-and-a-half miles from our flat to the Modern Art Gallery and back. I have wondered since whether, at that moment, my brain finally made some sort of useful connection, and that this somehow caused the crazy nausea. In any case, since then, my leg has certainly had more strength and stamina and my knee has been acting more reliably.

Anyway, I seem to have rambled far away from the ostensible subject of this post – which was supposed to be the novel experience of doing my own washing up and cooking for a few days. On the subject of which, I better go and put my supper on. . .

Corstorphine Hill


Autumn seems to have arrived while we were away. The plums on Jesus’s tree have been turned into jam, the brambles in the local hedgerows are all but gone, and the rosebay willowherb has blown spectacularly to seed. It seemed the right sort of time to ascend Corstorphine, which has, perhaps, the most woodland character of all of Edinburgh’s hills. Corstorphine is really more of a ridge than a hill proper – a glacial fold to the West of the city. The lower slopes of the ridge house the zoo, and the sprawl of housing created as the city expanded over the last century. The upper slopes are home to the remains of a neolithic settlement, and a stone tower of much more recent construction, dedicated, as so many things about these parts, to Sir Walter Scott.

Scott is an appropriate figure to think of on Corstorphine Hill which, with shady nooks of beech and fir, giant slabs of bare dolerite, and brief, tantalising views, is just the sort of place that the folk of his generation might contrive for a picturesque ramble. And like many picturesque spots, Corstorphine can also seem to invite a certain mis-reading. While the woodland looks relatively wild, it is a managed landscape, and until relatively recently, a working one as well. What you see to the right might seem to be the ivy-covered ruins of ancient structures, but are actually stones rejected from the quarry which used to operate on the hillside.

There is an orienteering course set up around the hill, and you can see one of the controls to the left of this obligatory Bruce obedience photo. The last time I came walking on Corstorphine was several years ago after Tom insisted that I do something to improve my navigation skills. I have no sense of direction — that is to say, I suffer from the mistaken and often unshakeable belief that I am going the right way, without doing what one should when there is any doubt at all, viz, consult the map. Tom has become exasperated with this on more than one occasion — I think the final straw was when, in poor visibility on the top of a munro, I absolutely insisted that we follow some footprints I could see in front of me in the snow. After this, he was (understandably) concerned at the prospect of my getting lost on an independent expedition, and I recall that I, grudgingly, and not with a very good grace, managed to find my way about Corstorphine’s woods with a compass and controls.

Today the challenges of Corstorphine were of a rather different kind. I was very grateful for the walking poles — there are lots of steep inclines, and several places in the woods where one has to pick one’s way over slippery rocks and tree roots.
I doubt I’d have been able to manage such manoeuvres even a couple of weeks ago. I think that the swimming has improved stroke-leg’s strength and control considerably. At some point, I shall video myself walking — I’ve not had the gumption to do this so far, as I feel so damn wonky and ungainly — but, as with the swimming, I imagine it may help if I can actually see any small improvements in my gait.

In the dark of the woods, the turning beech leaves seemed almost luminous. . .

. . . and you emerge from the shade to bright glimpses of the city beyond.


The interesting cone that you can see on the horizon to the right of this photo is North Berwick Law — the first hill I intend to ascend after completing Edinburgh’s seven. Anyway, we all had a fine ramble about Corstorphine on a lovely early-Autumn day, and Bruce, as you can imagine, absolutely loves the woods.

Five down, two to go . . .

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