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Hiya! It is I, Bruce. Today I am here to tell you about a delicious and intriguing object: the POTATO.

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Also known as “tattie” or “spud”, and, often (for some mystifying reason) prefixed with the adjective “humble”, the POTATO is one of my all-time favourite foods. Together with other wondrous food-objects (for example, CHICKEN, SAUSAGES and HAM), POTATOES are sadly not something I am able to consume on a daily basis. I find this extremely disappointing. Instead of a tasty varied diet of tubers cooked in several different ways (roast POTATOES being a particular delicacy), twice a day I am offered what in this house is designated dog food, viz, a sort of arid, brown space-biscuit. Though I am told the space-biscuits provide me with fully-balanced canine nutrition, I find them frustrating in many respects. . . perhaps particularly the miniscule amounts in which they are dispensed. I have frequently tried to suggest to Kate and Tom that POTATOES would be much preferred to space biscuits by this hungry labrador, but as they are foolish humans, who do not speak DOG, they fail to understand my chagrin. But here is a top-tip, dog friends: if you too exist on a bland space-biscuit diet, you may be able to supplement it with the delicious food your humans prepare for themselves by presenting them with the face known as “GIVE ME A POTATO”.

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Sometimes the GIVE ME A POTATO face is literally all that is required to make a POTATO materialise. How well I remember the day I made this face at our next door neighbour, Mairi, and was rewarded with two entire baked POTATOES. How delicious! How fluffy! How utterly POTATOE-Y those POTATOES were! This event was truly the stuff of canine dreams – indeed every time I’ve encountered Mairi since, I’ve presented her with the expectant face of one who anticipates its recurrence. But I digress.

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If, after making the GIVE ME A POTATO face you get lucky, and a POTATO actually appears, you may find yourself having to work for your reward. Humans refer to such matters as training, and your successful response to their commands is a simple way of compounding their mistaken belief that they have the upper hand. We dogs know better. And let me tell you, friends, that while some foolish canines regard such tricks as demeaning, there is nothing at all demeaning in the tasty joy of a POTATO. My philosophy is: if you want the POTATO, you’ve got to throw the shapes.

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And while I am on the subject, it is worth bearing in mind that cooked POTATOES are always to be preferred to those that come straight out of the ground, or sit in the bathroom performing the mysterious process known as “chitting.” I myself have little idea what this “chitting” involves, but I do know that at this time of year the bathroom becomes a sort of POTATO nursery, a space in which I show much interest but out of which I am frequently shooed. Kate spends a lot of time in the POTATO nursery, and it has to be said that in spring she seems, if possible, even more excited about POTATOES than I: continually fussing and muttering about the correct timing of “getting the POTATOES in”. But the fussing seems to pay off, as by late Summer we find ourselves with a glut of tubers, and as she often reminds me, the best POTATOES are those that are home grown.

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Well, enough chit-chat, already. May I eat my POTATO now, please?

See you soon, love Bruce xx


Kate adds: there is indeed much potato anticipation here as my spring planting has been held up by shed-construction and associated landscaping. Hopefully the work will be completed soon and I can get the potatoes out of the bathroom and into the ground!

66 thoughts on “you say “potato” . . .

  1. It is so true that a home grown potato is a thing of joy.
    Good luck with tricking the People into giving you one, Bruce. Yummo!

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  2. That was so much fun to read! Bruce is a handsome boy. I have one who looks just like him named Milo. He will do anything for food too. I have never given him potatoes. I will have to try them sometime. I’m sure he’ll love them too.

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  3. My potatoes went into the Idaho soil last week. We are having a very warm spring and I have been planting with my fingers crossed that we are indeed past the frost. Cat Twirp says that Bruce may have her share.

    Lynn

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  4. Hi, Bruce, Kaz here. I would love to join you in your endeavours to cadge more potatoes. I am partial to chips which are unfortunately rationed as I have to watch my waistline. Looking forward to hearing more of your adventures. Keep practising your poses. Kaz

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  5. I love this. Our dog loves potatoes. She once stole a bunch out of a bag of potatoes that had been left on the kitchen floor and we caught her removing the skins and eating the insides. I had no idea it was possible for a dog to peel potatoes but she was managing it by biting off tiny pieces and spitting them out.

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  6. Hiya Bruce,
    BANANA is my absolute favorite. I find the DANCE an effective way to acquire the prize. I think it would work at our house for POTATO.
    Your friend Rita (15lbs of canine cuteness!)

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  7. Dear Bruce,
    Cheese is also wonderful.
    Love,
    Lester the cat

    PS: please let Kate know that her new typeface is very difficult to read on an iPad.

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  8. Dear Bruce,

    My humans have not (yet!) given me the wonderful POTATO. They will throw me CARROTS, however, and RADISHES if I give them my alert stare when they are at the kitchen counter. I hope you get to eat these, too, and that I will someday get a POTATO.

    Your friend,
    Rudy

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  9. In reply to Kate’s added note: great you are immersed in landscaping and … shed construction! I too am a bit distracted with major trail-making, bridge building, and general outside labor. :)

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  10. If only my two Labradors, Mombasso and Cascabelle, could read your post Bruce. They share your enthusiasm for all food, human and their delicious space biscuits. Have you tried lime? It is an acquired taste. Carrots and tomatoes straight from the garden are delicious and plentiful!!

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  11. Bruce I so wish you could meet “The Girls” and go for a romp on the tundra together you would all have a blast. On the tundra you find such yummy treats as caribou bones, moose parts, soon to be bird parts, and on the beach lets throw in seal parts, whale parts, oh lalalalaaaa slamon . . . the treats here are endless. Some are very smelling and so fun to roll in but then you have to have bath!

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  12. Aw Bruce, you & your human, Kate, make me smile. Also the amusing commentors too. I want new potatoes and a dip of salt. mmmmmmm Witness MY potato face

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  13. Potatoes are good but apples are the food of gods. Apples are sweet and crunchy and all things good. It’s so sad that whole apples are never dispensed, only tiny pieces. That I’m only 5 lbs shouldn’t matter when it comes to apples. My dream is to have a whole apple all to myself.

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  14. I agree with you, Bruce. Potatoes are delicious. How nice you are able to indulge now and then. I find your potato face irrisistible.

    Please send my regards to your humans Kate and Tom.

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  15. Yay! Words of wisdom from the delightful Bruce again! (Thank you Kate, you said he may be blogging soon:) We have a similar potato chitting scene here too so our cats can sympathise as they’re not allowed near them either. Here’s to more “Brucedoms”, which are always highlight my day – thanks!

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  16. Gidday Bruce

    It is Woody here! I am reading your post whilst relaxing quietly by the wood heater after an exciting walk with The Big Man… sadly, I too have to put up with the indignity of the space biscuit … The Big Man tells me its because I am allergic to just about everything, which I do not believe. I prove this constantly by browsing whatever comes my way – roo poo, poisonous blowies at the beach, dead maggot filled rabbits (always an extra delight) and I had some secret success the other day when I snaffled some cat poo as we walked along. So, Bruce, we are in the same boat. Different seasons, yes, but we must maintain a united front.

    Seeya, Woody

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  17. It’s lovely to hear from again, Bruce. My black labrador, Monty, doesn’t eat potatoes, but he does love carrots. He too can make the faces and do the moves to get one!

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  18. Well….. Purl here….. Schnoodle from Suffolk….. Mum knits… What else would I be called…
    I have to say the potato is not so exciting….. Maybe as I have a sweeter tooth….. I prefer a carrot….. Even better if stolen from the garage.
    I pretend I need a wee so I can sneak out into the garden for a crafty nibble…
    If it tastes that good, you can’t eat it all at once.

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  19. My Grammy always had lots of taters planted on the farm along with all sorts of yummy vegetables. Your neighbor seems to be quite fond of you and will probably give you more taters. Ever tried them sliced thin and fried?
    What is your person going to put in her shed?

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  20. Dear Bruce, my english is very bad, but I understand DOG, and if you go in France with Kate and Tom, especially in Normandie, I’ll prepare delicious potatoes with cream for your meal. À bientôt, Bruce, c’est un bonheur de te lire !

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  21. Hey Bruce, I have heard that carrots and tea is also super tasty. Or at least that is what my old (missed daily) lab said, she also had a thing for frozen peas (and would mug us when we went to the freezer) and raw spaghetti. Also rice, she loved the left overs when we had Chinese.

    Thanks for sharing your view on the humble but awesome potato, I hope Kate gives you a tasty baked one as a treat soon.

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  22. Bruce! I’ve missed you so much! Be patient and watch with glee as Kate digs and deposits the potatoes into the ground. Soon, roasted delights will be yours, provided you stay on the space bait and hiking paths. Fat doggies don’t get treats as often.

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  23. Hello Bruce. We are Elsa and Grizzie. We are cats so we find your interest in potatoes rather disgusting. However, that said, we agree that communication with humans regarding food choices can be frustrating at best. We have found that that sitting on the kitchen counter, tilting our heads slightly to one side, opening our eyes wide, and mewling very softly like starving kittens will result in treats of roast chicken, poached salmon, broiled beef, or whatever else the humans are having for dinner. But, unfortunately, like you we are stuck with “cat food” most of the time.

    Please tell your human Kate that we really enjoy reading her blog as we share her interest in string, and find her use of “yarn” quite compelling.

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  24. Bruce is such a handsome dog and I hope Bruce that Kate gives you a wee baked potato for giving her followers such joy.

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  25. When I was a kid, the neighbor’s dog, a fat nondescript mutt named “Tinkerbelle” would dig my mother’s potatoes out of the garden. Made my mother so angry!

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  26. A dog of excellent taste as nothing beats a home-grown baked potato. Mine have citted and are inthe potato sacks and I am looking forward to an auyumn harvest. If Bruce has patience perhaps he will be rewarded when the harvest comes in.

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  27. Hey Bruce, Marge the Siamese here. Please would you teach me your GIVE ME A POTATO face, as mine doesn’t work so I have to steal mine. This rarely goes down well here. Especially when they tread in the bits i’ve dropped.

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  28. Handsome lad, and too funny… coincidentally, I had just pulled my individually wrapped seed potatoes from the basement to see how they fared over the winter. They look like shrivelled grapes with long stringers, and are eager to get into the ground, maybe in a couple weeks when there is less danger of frost. Linzer Delikates, and Red Delikates and purple potatoes.

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  29. Bruce, Do I have the recipe for you….my humans’ call it Potato Soup! It has wonderful things like soured cream, ahhhh,and ham, and half and half and whole milk. The best part is it’s served with CHEESE!!! Well, I must scoot now…being a Poodle I spend a lot of time getting my hair done. I keep trying to tell my humans’ that there is a thing called a “Teddy Bear Cut” that is most acceptable for Poodles! Let me know when those potatoes are up, no doubt I’ll still be waiting for our 50 lb bag from Idaho….you should see the size of those Babies! Happy Digging!!!!! Tula

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  30. PS Goodness that dog is beautiful! If you ever get fed up with Scotland, Bruce, come and spend some time in Dorset. The potatoes grow earlier down here, and I promise to share them with you!

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  31. I have just returned from work feeling peckish and I can confirm that the give me a potato face is not purely confined to dogs. Although Bruce, you do it so well x

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  32. Bruce has many wise words, I had no idea the love a dog could have for the simple tayto. He’s a very handsome dog, my handsome black rabbit Bruce sends his regards to a fellow Bruce.

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  33. Bruce I think you should mention this book, Dinner for Dogs, to Kate and Tom. It is one of my favourites and I’m certain you would too. From Pebbles.

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  34. What a wonderful surprise to hear from you Bruce! Miss you much :) I’m sure the potatoes are coming soon – why not? Please visit more!

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    1. Dear Bailey and Bruce, Sweet potatoes and yams by far and away exceed anything a non sweet potato or yam can evoke, taste like, morph into, cooked, raw etc. No need to discuss any further. Thank goodness, f-i-n-a-l-l-y in the midst of what is supposed to be a knitting blog, we are addressing things I want to blog about!

      Love, your friend in CT, Buffy

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  35. Absolutely enchanting! And of course no truer words were ever spoken by BRUCE!! Thank you Bruce for the update, you are as svelte as ever so I assume you are not getting too many potatoes :)

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