Hiya! It is I, Bruce. This morning an extremely curious thing occurred, so I am here to tell you all about it.

The curious thing began with the appearance of the postie, who had a parcel for Tom. Inside the parcel was a box with this jolly person on the front of it.


Intriguing! Apparently the box contained Big Ball, and Tom required Big Ball to perform tricks and throw shapes such as this


These are quite impressive shapes, but, as I said to Tom, there are much better things to do with Big Ball, such as chase it, jump at it and chew it. (Prescient words, as we will see).

Oddly, the first thing to come out of box was not Big Ball at all but this Squashy Thing:


Tom began squeezing at Squashy Thing. Then Squashy Thing started huffing and puffing and making strange whistling sounds. I became excited, and began to bark, and then was told to leave the room. Such is life.

But when I was permitted to return, guess what I discovered?




Big Ball was large, and rather vexing, and impossible to catch. Clearly the best thing to do was to corner the chuffer.


Havoc ensued. It was mooted that I was playing with Big Ball too vigorously, and I was told to SIT.


So Tom and I decided to go outside to play with Big Ball . . .


. . .then I jumped happily at Big Ball and . . .


Big Ball’s disappearance was sudden, loud, and mystifying. All that remained were a few woeful scraps, which it was clearly my duty to destroy.


The appearance, and disappearance of things is one of life’s greatest mysteries. Who can say why the cold white stuff turns to water whenever I chew it? Why toys enter the evil beast called Washing Machine, and are never the same afterwards, or why Big Ball suddenly disappears? While I was musing on these important matters, Tom popped out for a while. When he returned, events took a rather sinister turn.


Who is this imposter? And what have they done with Big Ball?

72 thoughts on “The life and death of Big Ball

  1. Hi Bruce,
    Chloe-beast the fat labeagle here. My mom used to buy me balls that were bouncy and about basketball sized when I was little, until I got excited and grabbed them and they all died like yonder Big ball.
    When I was a young pup like you I used to love a good run with the ball. Now I am old and arthritic and got a touch of dog dementia, but I still can shuffle after a ball if it is a good day.
    Enjoy your ball Bruce deary. Take it from an old lady dog like me, enjoy your ball while you can.
    Snuffles and kisses


  2. Haha, he looks just like our lab. Our lab is also fixated with tennis balls or anything resembles toy. I have one of those balls, I should see how he reacts to it.


  3. Oh Bruce, how you and my pal Kirby would get along so famously! Both of you live to love the out doors and big balls and all the exciting things our people seem to forget about! Cheers to you Bruce! May 2014 bring you many more BIG things


  4. Can Bruce come to my house & play with the Big Ball I have? If the same thing happened here, it would mean I’d have a good excuse, no, reason not to use it!


  5. Bruce, you really know how to tell a story. Kate and Tom, your house is so attractive. Did you have to clean it up specially to take pictures of Bruce and big ball or was it just. . .already beautiful like that? (she asked wistfully, dreaming of the day that she could keep her house neat and tidy)


  6. What a great post! I do have a small or “big” suggestion…. I have 2 big dogs and they like that ball too….try wrapping up with duct tape after you blow it up its not gonna last forever but it does extend the life….good luck


  7. Poor Bewildered Bruce. By the way, in my nosey way I love looking at the backgrounds of photos to see how one lives. In yours I spied an interesting lamp. Where on earth did you find a dog lamp wearing a cone of shame shade?


  8. Oh, Bruce, lovely Bruce. :) However, there are stronger than normal big balls made especially for dogs. In a Finnish dog school called Kompassi they have developed a mutual gymnastics for dogs and their owners and they call it dobo (from dog ball, apparentally). Here is a link to one youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNnjRhabRrg . It’s all in Finnish but you’ll get the idea. :)


  9. I was reading Bruce’s tale out loud to my family, but started laughing so hard that I could hardly finish reading as I spouted tears of hilarity and had to keep stopping…so that everyone else was not only laughing at the story, but my rendition. Bruce, you (and your partner in writing, Kate) are a cure for any blues one might suffer. I love you, Bruce!


  10. I noticed your Tweet (I don’t have an acct). If you are excited about new ideas, how about designing a FI skirt. I am making one now. I like it so far, but think one designed by you would be nicer. A nice A-line skirt with pretty FI motifs. What do you think?


  11. Wallie (Pembroke Welsh corgi) finds the red ball too large, but soccer balls! I (Wallie’s walking companion) find the big red balls wonderful as a prop for photography of small children. There is a tough red ball that makes a variety of squeaks, squeals and moans that Wallie can make talk – friends to whose dogs I have given this toy, call it “Linda’s Revenge”!


  12. Hi SUsan I am sending you this I thought you would enjoy this. I have been following Kate’s blog for about a year. SHe is an amazing person, her pattern books are the best, she is a stong woman like us, had a stroke and still has residue from it but she keeps going, and her dog Bruce and her husband, they are all so special.


  13. Oh Bruce, you are funny! Fancy your humans teasing you like this.

    If you get on a train and head to Wales, you can play with our toys, as long as you don’t slay Tuggy or Fluffy. We have to keep burying them under the bed so the evil machine doesn’t make them smell what our humans call ‘clean’. If you’re really lucky, we’ll show you where our human keeps her Big Ball – under the bed. Heep!

    We hope the imposter is another ball.

    Yours in Retriever Woofidarity,

    Large Lad and Small Chap. xxxx


  14. Oh my! Has me in stiches! Can totally relate….i would get big stuffed toys from goodwill and old boy would decapitate and destuff them and then wander about looking for missing friend!


  15. What bizzilizzikelso said.

    From using those at the gym, I am surprised. I could see where it was going and I thought, really? they seem so thick.

    Tom is a determined person to try it again!

    Good luck, Bruce!


  16. Amazing, Dawson and Juneau ( big dog and little dog Bernese Mtn and mini Australian shepherd) had a very similar big ball incident here(across the pond). Maybe they are a new invading species.


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